After many years, hardcore has earnestly taken up the conversation around depression and mental health. But just because we’ve opened a conversation doesn’t mean that we've figured out how to have it.
"But just like 'all the other people we know,' who we are cannot simply be boiled down to any one of those things. We are all of those things, all the time, and we deserve to be able to live in our full complexity—even if we make sad songs. Maybe especially if we make sad songs."
I'm very late to this, but out of all your pieces this one really strikes a personal note with me. My very first tattoo was a memorial piece for Elliott Smith. I credit his music as one of the things that kept me alive until I could afford to get help on my own, as my family, while I love very much, didn't understand my mental struggles. I was introduced to Elliott by my High School creative writing teacher who supported my writing, and also tended to provide me the names of bands/singers he thought I needed to hear.
For all the darkness in his music, I felt there was such deep hope in it too--and thats what always kept me going. The message that things can be terrible sometimes, and you can feel so bad...but you arent alone and there is light on the otherside too. Sometimes it doesn't always last, but what matters is that it was there.
Thank you for sharing these stories about him, and your friendship with him.
Thank you so much for this. As a fan, show-goer, and sometimes musician and booker of shows, hardcore saved my life. As a therapist now, hardcore informs and enriches my practice with my patients. I enthusiastically count anti-matter as such a positive influence on me in the mid and late 90s. Thank you Norm.
Excited for Thursday's interview with Brian. I know one of the other Be Well guys and have been hyping them from the start! I'm curious about this new book about Elliott - I'm wondering what will be talked about that hasn't been covered in previous books. I believe it was the book William Todd Schultz put out that seemed full of projection and speculation, which I didn't care for. I'm glad you got to speak about your friend Elliott and got to share a little with us. 💜
Brian is one of my favorite humans on earth and Be Well has been one of my favorite bands since The Weight and the Cost came out. I'm so excited to finally see them live this summer as I inconveniently caught COVID last time they came through Denver. Very excited for Thursday's interview.
One of my greatest breakthroughs was the day I came to realize that no one "has it all figured out". That we're all doing what we think is best on a day to day basis. Some of us are maybe better planners. Some of us are maybe better at expressing our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Some of us are better at wearing masks. Some of us have found success in managing our mental health struggles. Just knowing, or even just believing, that we're just "as happy as anyone else", has done so much for me.
This is a gift! The way this piece seamlessly spans decades, and beautifully exposes depression as separate from identity. Such a critical distinction, that I’ve struggled to find the right words for. It does consume you otherwise. I’ve lived my entire life with that mantra of “I’m as happy as anyone.” There is truth to that idea, but it also is a bit like quicksand. I always love to listen…thank-you.
Wow that was really intriguing I can't wait to Thursday for the interview with Brian McTernan. I assume Brian must be related to Mike Mcternan, the singer of Damnation AD. I once put on a show for Damnation AD at Hampshire College, where I attended and also the same school Elliott Smith attended. Elliott was a bit older then me and we never met but I know he was a philosophy "concentrator" (Hampshire didn't have majors instead they were called "concentrations ") I once tried to find Elliott's thesis in the Hampshire library but he never submitted it for public consumption which is a shame. But I know that Elliott's lp "either/or" was a nod to Soren Kierkegaard. Norman I once saw you at one of Elliott smith's concerts . It was in Manhattan this was around 1998 and Mary Lou lord opened up for him. What I also remember is that Elliott was in crowd to watch Mary Lou lord and he was drinking red stripe beer. I distinctly remember that because at the time I was obsessed with smith's music and decided to "break the edge" and drink a bottle of red stripe (which I didn't really like, oh well but I foolishly thought if Elliott likes it it must be 'cool') I have been in therapy for awhile and I talk a lot about hardcore in sessions and I'm still trying to figure if hardcore helped me or just caused pain. Looking forward to Thursday.
"But just like 'all the other people we know,' who we are cannot simply be boiled down to any one of those things. We are all of those things, all the time, and we deserve to be able to live in our full complexity—even if we make sad songs. Maybe especially if we make sad songs."
Well said and wrapped up tight.
Every time I hear Drown is just like the first time. It’s one of a very small handful of songs that gets goosebumps every single time.
I'm very late to this, but out of all your pieces this one really strikes a personal note with me. My very first tattoo was a memorial piece for Elliott Smith. I credit his music as one of the things that kept me alive until I could afford to get help on my own, as my family, while I love very much, didn't understand my mental struggles. I was introduced to Elliott by my High School creative writing teacher who supported my writing, and also tended to provide me the names of bands/singers he thought I needed to hear.
For all the darkness in his music, I felt there was such deep hope in it too--and thats what always kept me going. The message that things can be terrible sometimes, and you can feel so bad...but you arent alone and there is light on the otherside too. Sometimes it doesn't always last, but what matters is that it was there.
Thank you for sharing these stories about him, and your friendship with him.
Thank you so much for this. As a fan, show-goer, and sometimes musician and booker of shows, hardcore saved my life. As a therapist now, hardcore informs and enriches my practice with my patients. I enthusiastically count anti-matter as such a positive influence on me in the mid and late 90s. Thank you Norm.
Excited for Thursday's interview with Brian. I know one of the other Be Well guys and have been hyping them from the start! I'm curious about this new book about Elliott - I'm wondering what will be talked about that hasn't been covered in previous books. I believe it was the book William Todd Schultz put out that seemed full of projection and speculation, which I didn't care for. I'm glad you got to speak about your friend Elliott and got to share a little with us. 💜
Brian is one of my favorite humans on earth and Be Well has been one of my favorite bands since The Weight and the Cost came out. I'm so excited to finally see them live this summer as I inconveniently caught COVID last time they came through Denver. Very excited for Thursday's interview.
One of my greatest breakthroughs was the day I came to realize that no one "has it all figured out". That we're all doing what we think is best on a day to day basis. Some of us are maybe better planners. Some of us are maybe better at expressing our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Some of us are better at wearing masks. Some of us have found success in managing our mental health struggles. Just knowing, or even just believing, that we're just "as happy as anyone else", has done so much for me.
Thanks again for a great article, Norman.
This is a gift! The way this piece seamlessly spans decades, and beautifully exposes depression as separate from identity. Such a critical distinction, that I’ve struggled to find the right words for. It does consume you otherwise. I’ve lived my entire life with that mantra of “I’m as happy as anyone.” There is truth to that idea, but it also is a bit like quicksand. I always love to listen…thank-you.
Wow that was really intriguing I can't wait to Thursday for the interview with Brian McTernan. I assume Brian must be related to Mike Mcternan, the singer of Damnation AD. I once put on a show for Damnation AD at Hampshire College, where I attended and also the same school Elliott Smith attended. Elliott was a bit older then me and we never met but I know he was a philosophy "concentrator" (Hampshire didn't have majors instead they were called "concentrations ") I once tried to find Elliott's thesis in the Hampshire library but he never submitted it for public consumption which is a shame. But I know that Elliott's lp "either/or" was a nod to Soren Kierkegaard. Norman I once saw you at one of Elliott smith's concerts . It was in Manhattan this was around 1998 and Mary Lou lord opened up for him. What I also remember is that Elliott was in crowd to watch Mary Lou lord and he was drinking red stripe beer. I distinctly remember that because at the time I was obsessed with smith's music and decided to "break the edge" and drink a bottle of red stripe (which I didn't really like, oh well but I foolishly thought if Elliott likes it it must be 'cool') I have been in therapy for awhile and I talk a lot about hardcore in sessions and I'm still trying to figure if hardcore helped me or just caused pain. Looking forward to Thursday.
last night I dreamed that Elliott Smith was still alive https://open.spotify.com/track/5FdHjQZ4KUegCGiVpzBY7U