I am so thankful for straightedge and consequently having my wits about me through high school and college. Being straightedge did not prevent me however from making poor and embarrassing decisions and choices that I still gag over when I reflect on to this day. It’s funny when I think about how mature I thought I was, because I think that was actually the problem-thinking I was so mature and that I had all the answers.
I have been following research on microdosing for quite some time, hoping maybe it is an effective plant-based (my vegan roots) solution to treating anxiety and depression. Of course I won’t be doing anything until I feel I can justify it with evidence-based citations (my straightedge roots). On further thought, thinking I’m so mature and liking to have all the answers may just be annoying personality traits of mine. I wonder what poor and embarrassing decisions I will be gagging over as a senior citizen. Quite possibly oversharing in the comments section of antimatter on substack. Apologies in advance, I just can’t help myself!
I was never straight-edge - I realized early on that getting drunk or stoned once didn't sentence me, personally, to addiction - but I was plenty binary about other things, and as I've gotten older I've realized more and more that all we can do is get up every day and do our best, and sometimes we'll stumble but that's okay, we can start over tomorrow. Whatever it is that's important to us, so often it's better approached as a daily practice than some inflexible end state.
Love this article. I've been vegan straight-edge since 2016, but I'm still somewhat new to the hardcore community so I didnt know that term until like 2 years ago 😅. For me it was really wild finding a community that was doing what I had been doing on my own already, something that was sort of lonely for me but that I believed in, then surprise! There are more people out there like me! My philosophy has always been that everyone should do what works for them, but that this is what works for me. I also love what you have written at the end, "We must all find our own ways of disappointing someone on the way to finding ourselves at some point." That's so true, and something I've only recently figured out. Thank you for what you do with antimatter!
I’m looking forward to this. As a fellow former edgeman, I have the same feeling about how the one-time binary choice to be straight edge saved me from a lot of other decisions that would not have had … positive effects on my life.
I also have found that drugs can be useful tools in the same way Ray’s guru described them: not as an avenue of escape or avoidance (which is the straw man of a lot of my old straight edge thinking) but as a tool to go further in and explore. I’ve had revelatory experiences with mushrooms that I doubt I could have had without them but my abstinence for 15 years gave me perspective to use them as a tool.
Funnily enough I claimed edge 4.5 years ago, but I am, for lack of a better term "edge, by necessity" I've got problems with moderation, and drugs have definitely been apart of my story...
"...friends occasionally asked if I had any plans to cover up the straight-edge tattoo on my wrist. My answer was always the same: Absolutely not. ...Straight-edge opened me up to vegetarianism and a philosophy of life that promotes interconnectedness and compassion, and I still try to incorporate these things into the way I experience every single day on this planet."
Though I'm still a card carrying member, I completely understand your stance here. You are so correct Norm: straight edge—and the hardcore/punk scenes of our 80s—gave us keys to open so many doors (unity, animal rights, spiritualism, energy outlets, creativity, poetry).
We were children, kids making promises to stay on a path our entire lives as teenagers. Looking back, it's amazing that so many of us actually stuck to it!
My reason: if I had not chosen to become straight edge on July 9th of 1989 (and to this day), my parents and sister would have buried me. My commitment kept me from overdosing, hurting myself/others and from serious criminal activity.
As a younger me, I was filled with angst and pride over my X'd up life. The older me understands that there is not a single path for all.
Thank you for another important topic covered and a thoughtful collection of words Norm.
As always I very honest and introspective article. I'm really excited to read the interview with Ray coming this Thursday . I recently saw Shelter and Civ perform at the bowery ballroom a little while ago and as always they didn't disappoint. My personal experience with straight edge is when I first meet new people and I tell me that I don't drink alcohol they automatically assume that am a recovering alcoholic . I always wondered why. My guess is that people who drink alcohol maybe don't want to think what their doing isn't the greatest endeavor and when they meet someone who refuses to participate the rationalization they probably use is "He is the one with the problem I can hold my liquor" I apologize for playing the role of the moral standard bearer just then but it is just something I recently have been thinking about.
I never had a problem with that, and I think you may be reading into it too much. Most people don't drink enough to assume that anyone "is the one with the problem." It's just that not drinking is a curiosity for many because it's still a fairly common social convention. For a long time when I was vegan people asked if I was lactose intolerant. They couldn't imagine that someone might just not want to eat dairy. Same thing, really.
Yeah I have been overthinking this situation. Well reading your comment, which provided me with great insight that I didn’t notice before I was reminded of a great documentary by Scott Crawford about the d.c. hXc scene called “salad days” . In it Scott interviewed Ian mackaye and Ian was commenting about when he was younger people use to call him the “group conscious”. Because he made his friends “feel weird” for not drinking alcohol. Even as an adult I can still relate to idea of making people “feel weird” for not drinking. Oh well, I guess there are more important things going on in the world to think about.
I am so thankful for straightedge and consequently having my wits about me through high school and college. Being straightedge did not prevent me however from making poor and embarrassing decisions and choices that I still gag over when I reflect on to this day. It’s funny when I think about how mature I thought I was, because I think that was actually the problem-thinking I was so mature and that I had all the answers.
I have been following research on microdosing for quite some time, hoping maybe it is an effective plant-based (my vegan roots) solution to treating anxiety and depression. Of course I won’t be doing anything until I feel I can justify it with evidence-based citations (my straightedge roots). On further thought, thinking I’m so mature and liking to have all the answers may just be annoying personality traits of mine. I wonder what poor and embarrassing decisions I will be gagging over as a senior citizen. Quite possibly oversharing in the comments section of antimatter on substack. Apologies in advance, I just can’t help myself!
I was never straight-edge - I realized early on that getting drunk or stoned once didn't sentence me, personally, to addiction - but I was plenty binary about other things, and as I've gotten older I've realized more and more that all we can do is get up every day and do our best, and sometimes we'll stumble but that's okay, we can start over tomorrow. Whatever it is that's important to us, so often it's better approached as a daily practice than some inflexible end state.
Love this article. I've been vegan straight-edge since 2016, but I'm still somewhat new to the hardcore community so I didnt know that term until like 2 years ago 😅. For me it was really wild finding a community that was doing what I had been doing on my own already, something that was sort of lonely for me but that I believed in, then surprise! There are more people out there like me! My philosophy has always been that everyone should do what works for them, but that this is what works for me. I also love what you have written at the end, "We must all find our own ways of disappointing someone on the way to finding ourselves at some point." That's so true, and something I've only recently figured out. Thank you for what you do with antimatter!
I’m looking forward to this. As a fellow former edgeman, I have the same feeling about how the one-time binary choice to be straight edge saved me from a lot of other decisions that would not have had … positive effects on my life.
I also have found that drugs can be useful tools in the same way Ray’s guru described them: not as an avenue of escape or avoidance (which is the straw man of a lot of my old straight edge thinking) but as a tool to go further in and explore. I’ve had revelatory experiences with mushrooms that I doubt I could have had without them but my abstinence for 15 years gave me perspective to use them as a tool.
Looking forward to reading this on Thursday!
thanks for articulating what i couldn't about why i would never cover my straight edge tattoo
Funnily enough I claimed edge 4.5 years ago, but I am, for lack of a better term "edge, by necessity" I've got problems with moderation, and drugs have definitely been apart of my story...
"...friends occasionally asked if I had any plans to cover up the straight-edge tattoo on my wrist. My answer was always the same: Absolutely not. ...Straight-edge opened me up to vegetarianism and a philosophy of life that promotes interconnectedness and compassion, and I still try to incorporate these things into the way I experience every single day on this planet."
Though I'm still a card carrying member, I completely understand your stance here. You are so correct Norm: straight edge—and the hardcore/punk scenes of our 80s—gave us keys to open so many doors (unity, animal rights, spiritualism, energy outlets, creativity, poetry).
We were children, kids making promises to stay on a path our entire lives as teenagers. Looking back, it's amazing that so many of us actually stuck to it!
My reason: if I had not chosen to become straight edge on July 9th of 1989 (and to this day), my parents and sister would have buried me. My commitment kept me from overdosing, hurting myself/others and from serious criminal activity.
As a younger me, I was filled with angst and pride over my X'd up life. The older me understands that there is not a single path for all.
Thank you for another important topic covered and a thoughtful collection of words Norm.
As always I very honest and introspective article. I'm really excited to read the interview with Ray coming this Thursday . I recently saw Shelter and Civ perform at the bowery ballroom a little while ago and as always they didn't disappoint. My personal experience with straight edge is when I first meet new people and I tell me that I don't drink alcohol they automatically assume that am a recovering alcoholic . I always wondered why. My guess is that people who drink alcohol maybe don't want to think what their doing isn't the greatest endeavor and when they meet someone who refuses to participate the rationalization they probably use is "He is the one with the problem I can hold my liquor" I apologize for playing the role of the moral standard bearer just then but it is just something I recently have been thinking about.
I never had a problem with that, and I think you may be reading into it too much. Most people don't drink enough to assume that anyone "is the one with the problem." It's just that not drinking is a curiosity for many because it's still a fairly common social convention. For a long time when I was vegan people asked if I was lactose intolerant. They couldn't imagine that someone might just not want to eat dairy. Same thing, really.
Yeah I have been overthinking this situation. Well reading your comment, which provided me with great insight that I didn’t notice before I was reminded of a great documentary by Scott Crawford about the d.c. hXc scene called “salad days” . In it Scott interviewed Ian mackaye and Ian was commenting about when he was younger people use to call him the “group conscious”. Because he made his friends “feel weird” for not drinking alcohol. Even as an adult I can still relate to idea of making people “feel weird” for not drinking. Oh well, I guess there are more important things going on in the world to think about.